Random thoughts.
After a gap of a year, maybe more…
Sitting on the edge, with the slope merging into the valley deep below, I wanted to let it all go. I must have sat there for thirty minutes or so after walking uphill for a short distance. By now, my husband Arvind, knew when to follow in the car. He always gave me these extra minutes of solitude in nature, knowing how badly I wanted ‘me time’ when visiting these heights.
And it was heavenly.
The setting
The bird calls were there but their form was hidden by dense bushes. The crickets added their two bits. Soft and wispy balls of cotton came in from nowhere, only to move on after playing briefly in my line of sight. There was not a soul in sight. Some bikers passed, probably wondering why I was sitting there all alone. I made no eye contact. My connect was elsewhere.
I allowed myself to get lost in environment. If I were to use the oximeter, it would probably show an unreal figure. There was purity all around. Nothing manmade was in view. But there was so much more in those moments, a lot to imbibe, feel and release.
I am not new to such connects with nature. Today, I needed Mother Nature’s gentle touch and understanding all the more with both my mothers’ being far away, one in time and the other in space.
An upsurge of emotions
Sitting peacefully, with the beauty of the surroundings sinking in slowly, I felt a surge of emotions well up deep within me. It took just a few seconds for me to sink into nature’s lap and give in to whatever happened soon after.
Like the waters that are ruffled intentionally, I could feel sediments and currents of memories come to the fore. In such moments, the most recent and dominating emotions are unsettled first. Everything that may have caused a disturbance, be it things, people or situations, surface when what’s around remains still.
It is like a mental spa with one process merging into the next in quick succession. At such times, the upsurge is not to be contained. With this knowledge, I allowed my emotions to flow freely.
Healing with nature
If you believe in the powers of nature, you would also know how it all starts and ends. Once the steam is let off, the weight is lifted from your mind and shoulders. You look up to see what you saw a few minutes ago but in a different light.
Nature has this wonderful way of absorbing all that you want to let go so as to move on. Thereafter, the therapy begins. Once the lightness settles in, it is time to get caressed and soothed by the gentle sounds and breeze. New and fresh energy starts seeping in.
It is not the kind of energy that will make you trek uphill again. It is a different kind of life energy — one that makes you recede within yourself. You want to share this energy but only with those who mean the world to you.
Deep down, you feel washed and clean. Whatever was not meant for you is released. What remains has to be handled carefully, lest it get disturbed or tarnished again.
A slow and gradual process
It takes years to understand what is happening and then store the good energy well. Despite your best efforts, you will find layers settling on the emotions you want to preserve. These layers have to be removed regularly for you to find your peace. It is an ongoing process.
Recently, I have come across terms like mindful living, layers of spiritual growth, stages of gaining maturity and such. Sitting alone, with my feet up and thoughts flowing calmly, I can confirm, “Words are but words. The process has to be felt to understand what happens within.”
For me, these beautiful elevations are the path to evolution. Nature heals, I know. Nature nurtures, I am aware. And nature can make me grow, provided I listen and try to understand its signals in my own little ways.
